How To Know That He or She NOT the One

Although it’s easy to think your guy is the one, it’s hard to know for sure. To see if you’re serious about him – and if he’s worth it – read these tips and strategies.

20 Signs He’s Not The One

1. If He Wont Commit

Maybe you love this guy, as you have for the last 10 years. But if he isn't wiling to commit after years of "dating" then it's time to ask "why?".

He may have his reasons, but so will you. If you are not on the same page with regards to marriage, this isn't going to work.

2. The Kids? What Kids?

This is one of the most important decisions you or he will ever make, and it has to be the same one for obvious reasons. If you don't have the same idea in mind, it's not going to work.

This is a scary conversation, but one that needs to happen early on. That last thing you want is to invest time only to realize later on that you don't share the same outlook on family.

3. He Doesn't Take Your Career Seriously

If you've worked your entire life to get to where you are now, only to have your significant other put it down in any way, get out.

Insecurity runs rampant! If your guy can't handle that you too are a breawinner, maybe even THE breadwinner, you need to move on.

4. If He Never Asks For Help

We are all humans who make mistakes and often times require help from our friends and family. If your husband does not feel comfortable asking for help, ever, then there is a problem.

The likelihood that he never needs your help is practically nonexistent. Of course, if his support system is someone other than you, that is also a problem.

5. If He Tries To Control You

You are a grown woman, you don't need anyone els, much less your guy, telling you how to live your life. That's not to say that compromises won't be made. But your individuality is of the utmost importance.

If he's insecurity leads him to controlling behavior make sure you explain your boundaries and before things get out of hand. If he can't understand that, you need to get out.

6. If Your Finances Can't Sync Up

You're the responsible one keeping track of your finances, and he's spending with reckless abandon, this may be a bigger problem than you think.

If your financial priorities aren't a match, this may cause much bigger problems later down the line.

7. If He's Closer With His Boys

Every man needs a close group of good friends, but you should never feel like you're trying to compete with them. If you are not his #1, you need to make a change.

There is a time and place for all friendships, but his guy time should not infringe upon your couple time, ever.

8. If You're Not His Mother

If you feel yourself being measured up to his mother constantly, run away as fast as possible. The truth is, you will never be good enough.

Some guys are probably too attached to their mothers to realize how their connection to mom can alienate the new girl in their lives. Don't let this happen to you.

9. No effect

The person you deem to be "the one" will be the person that gives you meaning in life -- if not all the meaning in your life, at least a good portion of it. If you don't light up when he enters the room, if you don't think he's the greatest guy who ever walked the earth, then it's time to break it off and move on!

10. No time

Is she always busy comforting a friend who just went through a breakup? Is he always going to sporting events with his buddies? You haven't met his friends because they're out of town? Do you hear these excuses over and over again? That's because they may very well be excuses.

11. No future

You really can't imagine ever raising kids with him even though you see yourself having a family? If you want a family and can't stand the idea the person you're with will have children with you, it's time to move on.

12. No details

You don't know his siblings's names. He doesn't know what you do for a living. You don't really talk about personal stuff when you two are together. If you don't share details, you probably don't feel comfortable about doing so. If you can't share, you can't share a life together.

13. No attraction

You would rather spend the night watching "Sex and the City" reruns with your girlfriends and passing out on the floor. He would rather go out all night with his friends. Or maybe you just feign illness and stay in. Is this your uneventful Friday night? It's time to face the reality and come to terms with that fact that the attraction just isn't there. There is no such thing as working on becoming attracted to someone.

14. No respect

Respect is one of the most important things that are vital to the health of any kind of relationship. If respect doesn't exist and you can't earn it, it's time to move on.

15. No alignment

Long term success usually depends on whether or not two people have aligned long term goals in life. Whether it's for work, family, or play, have diverging goals does not help a couple stay sane.

16. A list

Do you have a list of things he needs to change? Do you have a list of the cons of your relationship that puts the pros column to shame? If you're making a list at all, you should be reevaluating your relationship now.

17. Too much jealousy

A small dose of jealously can keep things exciting, but too much of it can drive one person up a wall. Jealousy in a relationship should not reach the point where one person feels scared to go see someone, go do something, or tell the truth about something.

18. No comfort

When you experience difficulty in life, you don't go to him for comfort. When something goes wrong at work, he would rather go to someone else first for comfort. This is a sure sign that there just isn't any belief in one another.

19. No conflict

Fighting isn't encouraged, but a healthy dose of conflict shows that you trust one another enough to hash it out and hear each other out. Deliberately avoiding conflict is typically a sign that there's an elephant in the and room and not enough trust exists in your relationship for you two to talk about it.

20. No trust

You don't trust him with certain details of your life, where you're going, who you're seeing, etc. He doesn't trust you either. Trust builds the foundation of every healthy and lasting relationship. If the trust isn't there, it's time to move on.

FEMME FATALE: 10 Signs She’s Not The One

Making a commitment to a woman can be a very difficult and pressure inducing situation. A lot of factors go into determining if your gal is a wife material, but these factors can apply to either sex and any long term couple. So, is she a classy lady or devilish vixen?

1. She Doesn't Like Your Friends

Often the best sign that she doesn't truly love you. Your friends are an extension of your personality and a big part of your life. If she has problems with accepting your friends, she’ll certainly have problems accepting you if she hasn’t found any problems yet. This doesn't mean that she has to get along with your old college buddy who’s longest relationship was a 3 second body shot off a sorority girl, but she should by extension be friends with your best bud.

2. Your Friends Don’t Like Her

Who knows you better than your friends and family? The big warning sign is when the people closest to you either don’t trust, don’t get along with, or don’t think you’re a good match with your girlfriend. This isn't to say that your friends and family are better judges of your interests (I’ll never understand some of their movie recommendations), but in general, they can tell if you and your gal is worthy enough to be by your side.

3. She Hates All of Her Ex-Boyfriends

A woman who only speaks negatively about other people, or if she describes all of her ex-boyfriends as assholes and jerks, means that soon enough, she’ll have the same to say about you. Unless all of her ex-boyfriends were truly terrible people, then she most certainly deserves a pass, but she also shouldn't be gossiping about them unless you bring up the subject. You don’t want to go through a bad breakup and become her 7th asshole ex-boyfriend.

4. She’s Rude to the Waitstaff

It speaks a lot about a person’s character who is rude to the waitstaff or simply doesn't respect people. Is she abusive to employees in the service industry or kind and sympathetic? There’s no reason to go through life having to apologize for negative Nancy up on her high horse.

5. She Attempts to Change You

You are who you are and you should never change yourself just to earn someone’s respect, approval, and love. If she doesn't like who you are, hit the road, Jack.

6. You’re Always To Blame

Arguments happen in every relationship; no two people can agree on everything. However, if you’re always the one apologizing for everything, this should tell you a bit about her ego as well as the fact that there’s a person dictating your relationship and it isn't you. If your relationship resembles the relationship of Kim Jong-un and the rest of North Korea, in which you always fear that you might upset the Great Leader, jump the border ASAP.

7. Arguments About Important Things

As I said, arguments happen. However, they should be about little things like which one of your cooks the best pizza or who sleeps on what side of the bed. If you argue about big things, such as: whether you should travel the world or be settled down in a house within the next year, or if you should have 6 kids or no kids. Arguments about important things, like your future together can’t be ignored and should be resolved rather than dwelled on.

8. She’s A Complainer

Nothing pleases this one. If she finds something to complain about constantly, nothing is good enough for her. No one wants to listen to someone whine day and night. Don’t be stuck with a moody Judy.

9. She’s Jealous as a Cat

If your girlfriend sneers or gives other women the stink eye when you interact with them, she’s a jealous Jenny, and does not trust you. A relationship without trust is as useful as a screen door on a submarine.

10. You Don’t Share Similar Values

One of the most important things that brings people together is sharing similar values and ideals. You don’t need to both root for the same hockey team or be into the same obscure music genres, but you should respect each other and have similar goals in life. Make sure you strive to reach these goals without stepping over the things you value, like friendship, family, political attitudes, different faiths or lack thereof, or hobbies.

Shared From: ruggedfellowsguide.com